Childhood Nightmares

After a sleep plagued by one of the worst nightmares I have had in a long time, I am reminded of two reoccurring dreams from my childhood. I had both these dreams on a nightly basis for years and they still influence my emotions and some of my deepest fears. The first deals with my Mom and the second a big ass dog.

The first dream was always short and there was never any audible dialog. My Mom would be talking to me, I would scream at her and she would turn and start running away. I would start crying and try to follow her down an endless flight of stairs, never quite catching up, but I was always able to see her legs and feet. Some night this would go on for flight after flight after flight, (of stairs). Thankfully, some nights it was over quickly.

The second dream always started off normal. I would be leaving my school with my best friend Christopher. When we got to the back alley behind my friend’s home off of Hawthorne, I would start to sense a darkness following us. The fear would begin to creep in so I would always start to run. In the dream I only look back once, just to see. Every time there was a shadow bearing down on me and Christopher was gone. I would jump into a wooden box at my friend’s house that was used to store garbage cans and close the lid. As the darkness went passed I would wait a few moments and then open the lid just to peak.  A giant dog would jump in mouth wide open and just before the teeth took hold of my head I would wake up. This dream never changed and I was never able to wake up before the dream ended.

There are many more dreams from my childhood that I remember and maybe one day I will go back and write about those as well. For now, feel free to psychoanalyze me.

Sliding On Ice

J, Sammy and I were in St Petersburg Russia some time in November walking around Peter and Paul’s Cathedral, (I think). There was this huge open courtyard where people were standing taking pictures, playing in the snow and sliding on patches of ice. As we meandered through the vast open space, we came across a very long smooth patch of ice. I was wearing my comfortable dress shoes that allowed me to slide like I was wearing ice skates; without the control that skates provide.

I took a running start and gracefully hit the ice trying my best to keep my balance. At the exact same time and young teenager started his run on the other side of the ice patch. He also hit the ice with poise. We both looked up and our eyes locked and widened ever so slightly.

Now if you were him, what would go through your mind if a 300lbs 6’2” man was sliding toward you at a fairly good clip? I guess it would be like an average U-Haul truck about to have a head on collision with Toyota Corolla. As we got closer to each other, I really wished either one of us was wearing better shoes because no matter how hard we tried, the impending collision was unavoidable.

Visually it was like a pinball bouncing off a bumper. We collided and he bounced off me to the left and fell flat on his back. I stayed up for just a moment longer and down I went too. We were both ok but we laughed, smiled at each other and shook hands. I hope that young man will always remember that day.

Disgusting Childhood Memory

This afternoon at work we were talking about our earliest memories and it got me thinking about one that was, for lack of a better word, disgusting. For those of you who are squeamish about bodily functions, you should stop reading now. However, if you enjoy a good laugh based on childhood stupidity, please read on.

I was around 5 years old and I was sick with the flu and all the wonderful symptoms that go along with it. I had been puking all day and I was getting tired of going to the bathroom. In my infant wisdom and lack of common sense, I thought that gravity would keep it all down.

I was trying to get comfortable in my parents living room sitting on a brown reclining chair. When the urge came, I tilted my head back and pointed my face to the ceiling. The instant my muscles contracted, the projectile vomit left my body, flew straight up in the air, hung there for just a moment and came right back down. I was covered in the wet, chunky guck that my body had rejected.

In retrospect I learned that sometimes the body is a strong enough force to go against the laws of physics; even if it was just for a moment.

Broken Neck Part 2

I was finally able to go home. Now don’t get me wrong. As a 14 year old in the children’s hospital I was having a good time. I was able to play video games, have friends and family over all the time. I got so many toys, comic books and candy that it looked like I was the most popular kid on the wing. But whatever fun I was having, it would be years before I realized the impact this accident would have on the rest of my life. The simple things that we take for granted every day were never the same. I had to learn new ways of living.

Up until my first night in the hospital I was a stomach sleeper. I would lay down on my front, pull the blankets up around my neck and then sleep with either ear on the pillow depending on my mood. I had to learn how to sleep all over again. The first night I did not sleep well. It wasn’t the hospital or even the hard bed; when I used to have trouble sleeping, I would move to the floor and sleep on the carpet. The problem was sleeping on my back. Having that feeling of my eyes rolling back and the snoring drove me nuts in the first few months. I also had a drooling problem and without the help of gravity, that had nowhere to go. Learning how to sleep again was really annoying.

Safety was a huge concern for the doctors and my family. Having such a severe injury required a complete change of routine. I couldn’t have a shower just in case I would slip and fall. It also meant that I could not have a bath unless I had help. In my stubbornness, I refused to let anyone see my naked body. The only option left was a sponge bath that I administered myself. Washing my hair was a unique challenge. To be safe, my Mom washed my hair, but my Dad came up with a brilliant system to make it work. He got a basin to collect the water, took a garbage bag and cut a drain hole on one of the bottom corners. The open end was positioned around my head and neck, allowing the water to flow down through the bag into the basin. It was really well done.

There was also an issue with smell. I spent most of my time doing nothing during the summer playing video games and watching movies or TV. I was not very active so the issue was not what you think. The problem was with the chin support. Having something against your skin 24 hrs a day was gross. My chin and the support started to smell like really stinky feet. I hated it. The smell was always there. After a few months I was given a replacement pad which I tried to keep as clean as possible. There are still some times when I can still feel the grim, especially if I get a whiff of that smell.

The concern for my safety went beyond just daily routine. I was no longer able to play any contact sports. It was obvious that while my neck was healing, I had to avoid any mild form of stress or trauma to my body. After I healed, my neck was not properly balanced, (I’ll explain that in part 3). This prevented me from playing football. I think I would have made an excellent football player. We will never know now.

I should mention that I also no longer took public transit. I never fully understood why I couldn’t ride the bus. Over the next 2 years, up to the time I got my driver’s license, my Mom became my chauffeur. I got rides to and from school every day. The only theory for this change was just for my Mom’s sanity. I did and still do appreciate everything that my Mom and Dad did for me during this time of my life.